The Illusion of the Improved Self: Resolving the Buddhist Paradox

 One of the most pervasive misconceptions in spiritual practice is the belief that enlightenment or liberation is about becoming a perfected version of oneself. This belief, deeply ingrained in human psychology, is at odds with the core Buddhist insight that the self is an illusion. Even within advanced traditions such as Pure Land Buddhism and Vajrayāna, there is a tendency to interpret spiritual attainment as the evolution of an individual into a higher or more enlightened being. This article explores how this misconception arises and how it can be resolved through a deeper understanding of non-duality.

The Ego as an Illusion

From a Buddhist perspective, the ego is not an enduring entity but a construct, a fabrication — a temporary aggregation of thoughts, emotions, memories, and conditioned patterns. However, because it feels real, we instinctively try to preserve and enhance it. This manifests even in spiritual practice, where instead of deconstructing the self, many practitioners seek to refine it into a better, more spiritual, or more awakened version of itself. This articulates the fallacy of trying to “improve” one’s self.

The paradox is this: the more one tries to become enlightened, the more one reinforces the delusion that there is an independent self that can attain enlightenment. True liberation is not the perfection of the self, but the realization that there was never a self to perfect in the first place. This can be described as the transformation that Buddhism aims at, but it’s a transformation that is radically different from conventional notions of self-improvement. Rather than changing the self into a better or more awakened version, it is the transformation of perception—a shift from seeing reality through the lens of a fixed, separate ego to directly realizing its absence.

In Mahāyāna and Vajrayāna, this transformation is often framed as the realization of śūnyatā (emptiness) and tathātā (suchness), where one no longer operates under the illusion of an inherent self but instead recognizes the spontaneous, interdependent flow of existence. In Pure Land Buddhism, true transformation is not escaping Samsāra as a "better person" but dissolving self-clinging entirely, awakening to Amida as inseparable from one’s own true nature.

So, rather than a transformation of the self, it is a transformation from self-clinging to selflessness—where the very idea of a self that needs to be liberated is abandoned.

The Misinterpretation of Pure Land and Vajrayāna

Pure Land Buddhism

Many practitioners of Pure Land Buddhism see Sukhāvatī (Amitābha’s Pure Land) as an external paradise where they will continue to exist as a perfected being, free from suffering. However, classical Pure Land teachings emphasize that birth in Sukhāvatī is not the continuation of a self but the liberation from self-grasping. The Pure Land is not a place where one polishes an ego but an environment in which all delusions are effortlessly dropped, allowing for direct realization of non-duality.

There is a famous story, Chan (Zen) teaching, attributed to Chan master Mazu Daoyi (Baso Dōitsu) and his teacher Nanyue Huairang (Nangaku Ejo). In the story, Mazu is diligently practicing seated meditation, and his teacher Nanyue notices this. He picks up a brick and starts polishing it.

Mazu, confused, asks, "What are you doing?"

Nanyue replies, "I am polishing this brick to make it into a mirror."

Mazu, even more puzzled, says, "How can you make a mirror by polishing a brick?"

Nanyue responds, "If you cannot make a mirror by polishing a brick, how can you become a Buddha by just sitting in meditation?"

The deeper point is that trying to perfect an ego is as futile as polishing a brick to make a mirror. Awakening does not come from refining or improving the self but from realizing that the self is an illusion in the first place.

Similarly, in Pure Land Buddhism, if one sees Sukhāvatī as a place to continue polishing an individual identity rather than as a skillful means for transcending the illusion of self, then the practice remains trapped in dualism. But in its deeper understanding, the Pure Land functions as an environment where all illusions—including the illusion of self—are effortlessly released.

So, just as polishing a brick will never create a mirror, polishing the ego will never lead to awakening. The real transformation occurs when one stops polishing altogether and directly sees the nature of reality.

Vajrayāna Buddhism

Vajrayāna uses "deity" yoga, where the practitioner visualizes themselves as a Buddha or yidam. A common misconception is that this is a process of transforming oneself into a divine being. In reality, deity yoga dismantles the notion of an inherent self by revealing that one has never been separate from awakened awareness. The deity is not another identity to adopt but a skillful means to dissolve attachment to a fixed identity altogether.

“Deity Yoga” is often interpreted to be some form of worship of an external divinity. This is another misconception often found in the West. What we translate as “deity” is the Tibetan word yidam, which means “mind bound”.  "Mind-bound yoga" in the context of deity yoga (yidam practice) refers to the process of intentionally binding the mind to the form, qualities, and awareness of the chosen deity which the mind has generated. This is not in the sense of restriction but in the sense of samādhi—a stable, non-dual absorption in the deity’s enlightened qualities.

Mind-Bound as a Yogic Process

The term "yoga" in Vajrayāna means "union"—a method of fusing one's ordinary perception with enlightened awareness. In deity yoga, the mind is bound to the visualization, mantra, and attributes of the yidam, transforming ordinary perception into sacred perception.

This is how the binding becomes a yoga through visualization that acts as a cognitive rewiring. The practitioner dissolves their ordinary identity and arises as the yidam, seeing themselves and all phenomena as expressions of the deity’s enlightened nature. This disrupts habitual dualistic perception and conditions the mind to operate from a Buddha-perspective rather than an ego-perspective.

The mantra then becomes mental resonance through the recitation of the “deity’s” mantra binding the mind to the enlightened vibration of that sound. The mantra is not simply repetition but a direct attunement to the dharmakāya, reinforcing the generated deity’s presence as inseparable from awareness itself.

Non-Duality is “realized”, literally “made real”, through absorption of the visualization. As the mind stabilizes in the yidam, the distinction between "self" and "deity" dissolves. The practitioner recognizes that their own awareness has always been inseparable from the deity’s enlightened awareness.

Beyond Conceptualization: The Self-Liberation of Perception

At its highest stage, this practice is not about holding onto a visualization but about revealing the innate, non-conceptual awareness that has always been present. The yidam is both a method and a mirror—it does not exist as an external entity but as a luminous, empty expression of awareness itself.

"Mind-bound yoga" is in itself a paradox: the mind is bound only to become free. By stabilizing in the recognition of enlightened qualities, dualistic fixation dissolves, revealing that the mind was never separate from the Buddha-mind to begin with.

Why the Misconception Persists

There are four factors as to why the misconception of "self-improvement" for the "new improved "self" endures.

1. Attachment to Continuity: The human mind struggles with the idea of selflessness and prefers a narrative of continuity—an ego that progresses rather than dissolves.
2. Cultural Influence: Western self-help ideologies, which emphasize self-improvement, often merge with Buddhist practice, reinforcing the idea of spiritual progress as self-enhancement.
3. Language and Metaphor: Terms like “attaining enlightenment” or “becoming awakened” can be misleading, as they imply a transition from one state to another rather than the recognition of what has always been the case.
4. Societal Reinforcement: Modern society thrives on the notion of individual identity and personal success. The capitalist framework encourages self-improvement, competition, and achievement, making the concept of self-transcendence difficult to grasp. Media, education, and social norms continuously reinforce the idea that one's value is tied to personal development and accomplishments, further deepening the illusion of an enduring self that must evolve.

Resolving the Paradox: Beyond Becoming

The way out of this paradox is through a direct shift in perception. There are three essential ways of nurturing this.

The first involves seeing through the illusory self. Rather than refining the ego, one must see through its illusion. The self is a habit of mind, not an intrinsic reality. Instead of viewing enlightenment as a goal, it can be understood as the absence of striving—a resting in the luminous, empty awareness that has always been present. Then we can reframe how we define "liberation". Finally, one can realize (make real) for embody non-dualism. When one fully realizes that Samsāra and Nirvāna are not separate, there is no longer a self that needs to escape nor a perfected self that needs to be achieved.

The desire to become an improved version of oneself is deeply ingrained, but in Buddhist practice, it is precisely this desire that prevents liberation. The true path is not self-improvement but self-transcendence. By shifting from the model of spiritual progression to the realization of innate Buddha-nature, one steps beyond conceptual paradoxes into the direct experience of awakening. The journey, then, is not about becoming—it is about seeing clearly that there is nothing to become.

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