A Word About Self-Esteem

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We live in a society that is deliberately created children who will grow into dysfunctional adults.

The self-esteem movement began in 1970 and I am happy to say that it has been an utter failure. Studies have repeatedly shown that a high level of self-esteem does not improve grades, does not improve career achievement, does not even reduce alcohol abuse and most certainly does not reduce the incidence of violence. As it turns out, extremely aggressive and violent people tend to think very highly of themselves. Think about that for a moment, sociopaths have high levels of self-esteem. Who could have seen that coming?

It always amuses me when a “politically correct” idea crashes and burns. Incidentally, it was Joseph Goebbels who coined the term “politically correct” when he was Adolf Hitler’s propaganda minister. So why is it so important for us to be politically correct today? I thought we, as a nation, held the Nazis in low regard.

The self-esteem movement revolved around a single notion. It was the single idea that every child was special. In the 1970s and 80s, that phrase, “Every child is special” was repeated over and over again. It was as if it was a holy mantra meant to convince the followers of the movement that every child was indeed special. Unfortunately, every child is clearly not special. Children are incomplete work. What teacher would give credit for work that is not completed? What employer would do that? P.T. Barnum might have thought all children were special, but many of us have higher standards.

But let us assume that the proposition is true and every child is special. Then what can we say about an adult? Is not every adult also special? If not every adult is special then a question arises. If every child is special but not every adult is special, at what age does one transform from being special into being not so special? On the other hand, if every adult is special then every one is special and the whole idea of the self-esteem movement loses all its meaning.

As a young monk in Thailand my first teacher in Buddhism, a very famous Theravada teacher, once he told me “It’s all daw-lah (bullsh_t).” (Can I say that in a blog?) Over the years I have come to realize he was right. It’s all BS and it is bad for you.


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